Second Thought

Posted by spunky | Filed under Monkee Brain

I just received a message from an old friend, she who has beautiful, long, blonde hair and soulful eyes. I do miss those days where we would spend hours talking in her bedroom, with her cat snuggled at my feet, causing me much grief because of my most unfortunate allergy to cats. The very animal I would want as a pet, when I have time for it. Tsk.

Back to her. She sent me a note saying she’s having second thoughts. About school, about her choice of subject.

I’ve made choices in my life, that I still remember. Some good, some not so good. Some really bad ones that haunt me to this day and when I look back, I tell myself that I’ve grown. I’ve grown to accept that I am only human. That for every bad decision and every fuck up I’ve ever gotten myself into, I am still very much alive now.

Regret: Such an easy word to pass our lips. As if it was an explanation for our somehow unfulfilled existence. Is there something I regret? That breakfast I had in the morning? That late night supper I should not have? That class I did not attend?

Nil, Nada,None. Perhaps I just have a very limited memory of things past. Which might work to my advantage.

I made choices in my career that led me to the poor but happy state that I live in now. I have almost no savings, there is no employer that pays my *shudder* CPF. I will probably never own an *double shudder* HDB flat. All things that most Singaporeans consider to be essential in their existence in this country. I would be considered the black sheep of the family, with minimal education and somewhat street-wise.

Have I made my wishes come true? My friend certainly thinks so. But it was her words, those two little words that made me think.

Second thoughts

At any point in our lives we will have second thoughts. At any point in our lives we will question our decisions. And at any point of our lives, I believe we can have the power to decide what the hell it is we want to do, even if we have to give something up to pursue that second thought.

And guess what? When that second thought doesn’t work out, you bet you could work on another one.

Until you find your true self.

Permalink | February 2nd, 2009

3 Responses to “Second Thought”

  1. Wendy Says:
    February 6th, 2009 at 11:43 am

    Second thoughts … everyday. Third, fourth, fifth … inifinity thoughts every moment. Hence, you live in the moment, there is never a mistake in that :)

  2. Ruok Says:
    February 10th, 2009 at 12:02 pm

    Funny how it stops at second thought. I mean nobody mentions third thought or fourth thought.

    Come to think of it, even first thought is hardly mentioned.

  3. spunky Says:
    February 20th, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    Rouk: First thought always reads like this..

    ‘at first I was afraid, I was petrified…’ Heehee

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